Hometown Fireman Page 14

Her heart just about exploded when she saw Drew sitting smack-dab in the middle of the whole family of dogs, holding Allison on his chest. Sadie lay on her side, nursing the pups, her head on Drew’s knee, her eyes closed in sheer doggy bliss. Drew’s hair was attractively mussed, and the blue shirt he wore hugged his broad shoulders.

  What a scene! Handsome man, mama dog and puppies, all cozy and relaxed. Ally had the urge to step right in and plop herself down next to the yummy guy, put her head on his shoulder and stay awhile.

  Except she was supposed to be keeping her distance from him. Yeah, that was going great so far.

  “Hey,” he said softly. “I couldn’t resist stopping here for a while to see how this little gal is doing,” he said, holding up the tiniest pup.

  She gave a little howl of distress, obviously wanting her soft, warm place back on his chest.

  Ally knew the feeling. Boy, did she.

  “Oh, don’t worry, puppy,” he crooned as he quickly put her back down in her wonderful spot, rubbing her head. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

  His words echoed through Ally like an explosion. As long as you need me. For the puppy, sure. But for her?

  Even so, Ally’s chest expanded as she watched him comfort the puppy, so gentle and caring. So…wonderful.

  Somehow, she found her voice. “Hey. Yeah, I was just stopping to check on them, too.”

  He smiled, then shifted the puppy up so she was snuggled under his chin. “They’re doing great,” he said. “You’ve done a wonderful job here.”

  His praise made her face warm in a very nice way. “Thanks. Though it’s hardly work when I get to spend time with cute puppies,” she said.

  “True. They are adorable.” He gestured to the floor with his free hand. “I went ahead and changed the papers.”

  He was so thoughtful. Overwhelmingly so. “Thanks.” She licked her lips. Escape. She needed to escape. “Well, since things seem to be under control here, I’ll just head to my room.” A thought occurred to her. “Where’s Rex?”

  “Mom took him on a walk.”

  “Oh. Great.”

  “He actually let me in the house without attacking.”

  “He’s making progress, then.”

  “Yep.” Drew regarded her intently. “Mom told me you went to a job interview with Molly at Bow Wow Boutique.”

  Ally nodded and beamed. “I got the job. And Molly is interested in featuring the dogs I rescue in her store.”

  After an odd pause, he said, “Oh. That’s good. I know that’s what you wanted.” He cleared his throat. “Listen, can we talk? I have some…news.”

  She lifted her brow. “Okay.” Clearly he had something on his mind. So much for her escape.

  He put the puppy down next to Sadie so she could nurse. “I’ll come out there, if you don’t mind.” He looked back to the pup. “As long as she’s okay…”

  He was a man of his word. “Sure,” she said, fighting the urge to chew on a nail.

  When it was clear the puppy was settled and happy, he stood and made his way out of the puppy den.

  Ally scuffled back as he stepped over the gate across the doorway, noticing, as she always did, how good he looked in his dark blue dress pants and light blue shirt, open at the collar, no tie anywhere in sight. Wow. She could stare at him all day.

  “How’s your dad?” she asked.

  “He’s doing great. Especially since he and my mom are back together.”

  “I noticed,” Ally replied. “He’s back sleeping in their room, and she’s been spending almost every free moment in there with him. They even watched a movie together late last night. I heard them laughing.” It had been comforting for her to hear grown-ups in the next room who weren’t fighting. “I also had breakfast with him this morning. He’s a very nice man.”

  A brilliant smile lit Drew’s face. “Good. I was worried about them for a while, but now…well, I can relax.”

  “I guess some people manage to make their way back to love no matter what.” Ally mentally winced. What had possessed her to say that? Was she looking for a discussion about love?

  He gave her a disconcertingly direct gaze. “I guess so,” he said in a very, very soft voice that disarmed her. What else was new? “Kind of gives me hope.”

  “Really?” she said in a strangled tone. Oh, boy. What was on his mind? Needing air, she said, “Let’s go out on the patio.”

  Once they were there, she turned to him, careful to keep a distance, though she couldn’t seem to manage that any other time. “So, what’s up?”

  He took a large breath, the kind someone takes when he’s gearing up to deliver questionable news.

  “I talked to my dad, and he fired me,” Drew said.

  Ally frowned. “He fired you? Why?”

  “So I would take the job in Atherton.”

  “Ah.” Now she saw where this was headed. “So…you’re going?”

  He slowly nodded. “I am. I really felt as if I couldn’t leave my dad, but he’s planning on merging the company with another local real estate firm, so there’s nothing keeping me here anymore. I called Chief Jamison and accepted the offer.”

  Ally’s heart twisted, and she hated the pain radiating from her chest into the rest of her body. I should have expected this. But she hadn’t, not really. Deep down, she’d believed him when he’d said he was staying. Foolish move, girl. When would she learn?

  Right now. No one stayed for her.

  Do. Not. Forget. That. Ever.

  In the here and now, she reminded herself that he wanted this, so she wanted it for him. Well, most of her, anyway. Now that she knew he was leaving, she saw that the rest of her had wanted him to stay.

  With effort, she plastered a smile on her face. “I’m glad it all worked out,” she said in a remarkably even, normal-sounding voice. Good acting.

  “Me, too,” he replied. “It’s a relief to have everything figured out.”

  “I’m sure it is,” she said. When would she have the same thing? Soon. She was so close…

  He paused for a second, shifting. “Listen, about that, I had something I wanted to discuss with you.”

  “Okay.” What was on his mind now?

  He looked out over the yard for a second, his brow furrowed. “I know you’ve been hurt. I have, too. But I think we might have something worth holding on to.”

  “Holding on to?”

  “Yes.” He took her hand in his. “Ever since I met you, the one bad thing about leaving Moonlight Cove was leaving you.”

  “Really?” she squeaked out.

  “Really. You’re a wonderful woman, Ally,” he told her, squeezing her hand. “You’re kind, strong, and I really like being with you.”

  She swallowed. “I like being with you, too,” she said softly, because it was true.

  He smiled, happiness shining in his eyes. “Then would you consider dating long-distance?”

  Giddiness bounced through her. She pressed a hand to her breastbone, a smile pulling at her lips. Oh, how very tempting….

  But, no. No. Her smile died. She looked at him, standing expectantly, his eyes boring into her, waiting for her answer. A lump grew in her throat and her eyes burned. She had to stay the course.

  “I saw the beginnings of a smile,” he said, his words slicing the silence like a knife. “But not the end of one. Not exactly a good sign.”

  Correct. And she owed him the truth when he was putting himself on the line. “You’re leaving, and…a lot of people in my life have left and…” She trailed off as her throat clogged.

  He nodded. “I get what you’re saying. Relationships are risky. But I’m willing to try if you are.”

  Uncertainty flooded her, filling her up so full her eyes burned. He was asking too much. “I can’t.” Tears spilled over and she swiped at them. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

  “Not even for a chance at happiness?”

  She swallowed. She could only shake her head.

  His face stiffened, an
d he took a step back, his eyes going blank as his shields went up. “Okay, I understand. Just thought I’d ask, even though it was a long shot.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said inanely. “It’s not enough, and I can’t let myself take the risk.”

  “Risk.” He snorted.

  “You risked a lot by asking me, didn’t you?”

  He nodded. “But I had to know one way or another before I moved on.”

  Moved on. Without her. Because that was the way it had to be. The way she wanted it. Right? Though the rock in her gut told her the question was both right and wrong. She’d need to get over that if she had any hope of getting through this unscathed.

  She simply nodded back, unsure of what to say. Besides, if she spoke, she’d full-out cry, and she didn’t want that right now.

  “Well, I guess that’s it,” he said.

  “Guess so,” she said in a husky voice. You’d think she’d be better at goodbyes by now after having so many forced on her. But, apparently not.

  “Okay. I’ll go now.” He touched her cheek before she could back away. “I was hoping things could be different.”

  “I’ve been hoping that my whole life,” she whispered, fighting the urge to nuzzle his hand. “But I’ve learned that things are what they are, and I can’t change that.”

  Without another word, he turned. She looked away and watched a bird fly into the yard and land on a branch of a maple tree. She stared at that bird rather than watch Drew walk out of her life, even though she should force herself to observe every step he took. This was what she’d chosen, what she had to face.

  And when she looked back through her tears, he was gone. And so, she feared, was her heart.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Don’t you think you should be smiling more at your own going-away party?” Carson asked Drew, handing him a glass of Drew’s mom’s famous Party Punch.

  Drew took the fruity drink. “I’m smiling.” He pressed his mouth into a stiff smile. “See?”

  “That’s the sorriest excuse for a smile I’ve ever seen,” Carson replied with a rueful smile and a shake of his head.

  “I agree.” Seth Graham, Drew’s best friend, joined them. “Who died?”

  Oh, man. These two in-love-and-loving-it guys were going to gang up on Drew for sure; ever since Seth had fallen for and married Kim Hampton, and Carson had gone head over heels for Phoebe, they had been love advocates of the highest order.

  So…maybe he should ask for their advice. He really needed to talk about what had happened with Ally last week. He sure wasn’t dealing with the situation well on his own. Sleep had been elusive, and when he finally had drifted off in the dead of night, Ally haunted his dreams. More significantly, his appetite was nonexistent. Honestly, it felt as if he had a hollow space inside him that made him feel empty yet full at the same time. So much so that he had no desire to eat.

  “No one died. It’s just that…” He trailed off when he saw Ally walk out on the patio, animatedly talking to Heidi. The sun glinted off Ally’s golden hair, and her ready smile lit up her face in a way that took his breath away. He heard her laugh at something Heidi said, and the lilting sound made his heart go bumpitty-bump.

  Seth nudged Drew’s shoulder. “Looks like the pretty houseguest has caught your attention.”

  “More like his heart,” Carson added. “Word on the street is that they’ve been spending a lot of time together since she moved in here.”

  “Yeah, I heard that, too.” Seth gave him an inquiring stare. “What’s the real dirt?”

  Drew rolled a shoulder. What was the sense in lying to them, or to himself? “Okay, so I like her.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” Carson asked.

  Drew scowled at him. “Do you really have to ask that? I seem to remember how much trouble you had admitting your feelings for Phoebe.” He turned to Seth. “And you fought your feelings for Kim with everything in you from the moment you two met in the ocean that day.” Seth had rescued Kim from a riptide while at a church singles’ group outing at Moonlight Cove Beach, and the rest was history. Seth had become a wonderful dad to Kim’s seven-year-old son, and now they had a baby on the way and were the happiest couple on earth. Well, except maybe for Carson and Phoebe.

  Drew wanted that kind of happiness, he realized. He wanted what these two men had. But it was too late.

  Carson held up his hands. “Okay, okay, we get it. Relationships are intimidating.”

  “Frightening,” Seth said.

  “Complicated,” Drew added.

  Carson and Seth nodded their agreement.

  “So what am I going to do?” Drew muttered.

  “Have you told her how you feel?” Seth questioned.

  Carson piped in. “Good idea.”

  “I asked her to try the long-distance thing,” Drew told them.

  “Really?” Carson whistled. “That’s a start.”

  “Yeah, but maybe not enough,” Seth put in.

  “No kidding.” Drew shook his head. “She turned me down.”

  Carson winced. “Ouch.”

  “Yep,” Drew replied. “She said she couldn’t take the risk and that’s that.”

  “All well and good,” Seth said. “But did you tell her you love her?”

  Something twisted in Drew. “No.” He swiped a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t sure I did love her.”

  Carson hit him with a direct stare. “But now?”

  Drew looked over at Ally where she sat with Phoebe and Heidi at the patio table. Just the sight of her made him happy. Every moment they were apart felt like torture. Did that mean he loved her? “Now…I haven’t slept, I’m not eating and I can’t stop wanting to be with her.”

  “Yeah, I know that feeling,” Seth said with a twist of his lips. “Sounds like love.”

  Carson nodded his agreement. “I agree. You’ve got it bad.”

  Drew’s stomach pitched as uncertainty jabbed holes in his confidence. “No, I don’t think I do.” He took a big swig of punch, then immediately regretted it. Too sweet. “And she’s on the same page, so it’s all good.” The words burned.

  Seth and Carson gave each other doubting glances.

  “No, really, guys. This is all working out fine.”

  Carson shook his head. “You’re lying to yourself, man.”

  “Yep, you definitely are,” Seth added.

  “Why would I do that?” Drew asked, then regretted the question. He didn’t need these guys picking his motivations apart, building doubts in his mind, though he refused to consider why.

  “Um…to protect yourself?” Carson said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was.

  Drew waved a hand in the air. “You’re way off base. Sure, I like Ally. But I don’t love her, all right?” His heart ripped as he said those words, but he ignored the tearing sensation. No sense in asking for trouble, especially since Ally wanted it this way. He’d make a clean break, move to Atherton as he’d always planned, and soon she’d be nothing more than a nice memory.

  “Whatever,” Seth said. “But I think you’re making excuses.”

  Maybe. But at this point, it was the best decision all around. For both him and Ally. And as soon as he faced that reality, the sooner he could move on with his life in Atherton.

  He only hoped he’d be as happy as he’d always imagined; there was no turning back now, no second chance.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Drew stowed the last of his stuff in the truck bed, checking to make sure he hadn’t missed anything he’d had stored in his parents’ garage. Methodically, he covered the load with a tarp to protect it from the rain, which had been falling all morning, and then tied the tarp in place. He jerked on the bungee cords to be sure the tarp was going to hold during the three-hour drive to Atherton.

  He stood back. Okay. He was packed and ready to go. Nothing more to do. His new life stretched out before him, all shiny and pretty and exactly the way he wanted it.

  Ex
cept…he felt blah and…well, numb, as if he were facing an unpleasant chore, rather than the beginning of his dream come true.

  Truthfully, it felt as if his heart had been beaten up and was in critical condition.

  So much for moving on.

  He laid his forearms on the side of the truck bed and bowed his head. Lord, I need Your help to follow my path, to do what I’ve wanted to do for as long as I can remember, and to accept that this is what’s best for me.

  “You okay, son?”

  Drew said a quick Amen and then turned and looked at Dad. He was recovering well from his surgery, and it was good to see him up and around, acting like himself.

  “Fine, Dad.” Drew didn’t want to discuss his loss of Ally; the wound was too fresh. Too tender to pick apart. Maybe someday it would be less painful. He could only hope.

  Dad studied his face. “Have you said goodbye to Ally?”

  “Last night,” Drew replied succinctly, hoping Dad would drop the subject.

  “And the puppies?”

  Drew cleared his throat. Those puppies—the runt in particular—were a brutal reminder of Ally, of her heart and soul and everything she held dear. “I saw them last night, too.”

  Dad studied him for a long, uncomfortable moment. “I talked to Seth at your party.”

  Oh, boy. Not good. “Yes?” Drew said tightly.

  “And he told me you’re sticking your head in the sand about you and Ally.”

  “Seth can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

  “Did you tell him to keep it a secret?”

  “Well, no.” Drew grimaced. “But I wish I had.”

  Dad waved a hand in the air. “Too late. He spilled, and I want to know why you didn’t fight for her.”

  “She doesn’t want me to fight. She doesn’t want to take a chance on us.” He winced inwardly but did his best to disregard the stabbing pain in the vicinity of his heart.

  “Oh, pshaw,” Dad replied, twisting his lips into a scowl. “I talked to her at breakfast yesterday, and her eyes lit up when she talked about you. She cares about you.”

  Drew’s hopes crested, but he ruthlessly yanked them down and stomped on them. “What do you want me to do? Grab her by the hair, caveman-style, and demand that she date me from three hours away?”